In 2002 I made the decision that I would no longer officiate at weddings. Given the inability of the Episcopal Church to move on the blessing of same sex relationships or to produce a rite for blessing it seemed to me important not to participate in what was an increasingly confused and confusing liturgical activity.
This was for me a fairly drastic change in the exercise of ministry. Over the years I have officiated at something like one hundred sixty weddings. On the other hand I was not at the time a parish priest and didn't have to conform to parish expectations. I was perfectly willing to attend weddings, just not officiate at them. I was also clear that in emergencies I was willing to cover for other clergy. So in the past seven years I have twice officiated. Otherwise I have neither officiated for the state or blessed for the Church.
This last week I took some time and made the decision to be open to blessing in weddings and in other celebrations of union. I have decided, however, to ask couples who seek such blessing to see a state agent for the state agreement of marriage. If Delaware gets its act together and makes civil unions or marriages for same sex couples, I will ask the same of them. Go to the State for the State matters, come to the Church (or at least to me as part of the Church) for blessing.
For years I have believed that The Episcopal Church ought to relieve its clergy of acting as agents for the State in signing marriage papers, essentially as a notary to the effect that the two people declared themselves married. So now seems the time to act on that belief. That means, I suppose, that if people ask me to officiate we will either have to use the service "The Blessing of a Civil Marriage" or a form for blessing suitable to the occasion.
No doubt I will not be asked very often, but now, when asked, I can respond as one who blesses God for the wonders of commitment and blesses those who make them.